Who better to give tips to men for dating after divorce than a therapist who has a huge patient population of divorced men?
In his guest post, Licensed family and marital therapist, Jason Price offers advice to help make dating after divorce a little bit easier for men.
Dating After Divorce by Jason Price, LFMT In my therapy practice I work with a lot of divorcing men who are trying to adjust to life after their divorce.
It often feels daunting, there is uncertainty about how/where to start, and then add to it how damaged he may feel from being divorced, many men avoid the process all together.
Recently a client said to me “I’ve been out of the game for 25 years, all of my friends are married, I feel like a loser since my wife left me, and you expect me to ask someone out.” Well, not exactly, there are some steps that one can take to make the process easier: 1) Develop your divorce story.
By the time most men divorce they have felt beaten up by their spouse, their kids, and the court process. Their views on love and relationships may be shattered.
To combat this, most men would be best served creating a narrative that puts a positive spin on things.
Even if it was a horrible process and divorce wasn’t the desired outcome, the positive look can be something like “I put my all into the marriage, and even though this relationship didn’t work out, I know that I can be a good partner to someone”, or “we had many good years together, but as time went on we grew apart”.
When you do start to date, you’ll feel more comfortable about your situation and be able to share with your date a story that is palpable. Too many men rely on their married friends for advice.While it is always good to get support, only those who have been touched by divorce tend to truly get it.They understand the despair that it can cause and they will help you get connected to potential dating partners who are more likely to be patient with you as you are getting back into the dating pool.They are more likely to have single friends and be comfortable setting you up.If all of your friends are married, look for divorce support groups and mixers for divorcees. While new and scary for almost every divorced man in a longer term marriage, once you get comfortable with the technology and the prospect of many people seeing your profile, it can be a useful way of getting back out there.Once you set up a profile (ask friends for help), what you are likely to witness is many people being interested in you, not being turned off by the fact that you are divorced, and that it feels really good to be communicating in the dating world. Many men long for some of the comforts that were afforded in their marriage. home cooked meals, laundry etc.) and that causes them to rush to find their next partner.