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At the end of each episode, the two contestants will decide whether or not to move forward with their suitors.

He screams, rubs his eyes, takes a terrified shower: no change. After trying everything—Viagra, shiatsu, studded underwear, peyote in the desert—our man despairs, only to rematerialize his smeared equipment, quite unexpectedly, via the single, chaste kiss of a good woman. Reality TV is currently experiencing a boom in blurred genitalia: men and women wandering around in the buff with absences buzzing between their legs.

At the proud pivot of his being, there is only a writhing smudge. On the island of love featured on VH1’s Dating Naked, the men and women are getting drunk and groping each other in the pool and saying “Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?

”; on the Discovery Channel’s Naked and Afraid, they are crouched trembling and de-sexed in the jungles of Borneo or the wild hills of Nicaragua, nibbling snake meat and looming their frightened, nostrilly faces into the lens of the handheld camera at a.m. ”); on TLC’s Buying Naked, they’re looking for the right amount of closet space for the clothes they don’t wear. Of the three principal naked shows, Buying Naked, which last season followed a real-estate agent named Jackie Youngblood as she plied her trade in a clothing-optional community (nudists, we learn, don’t like the word colony: too redolent of ants and cultists), is probably the weirdest.

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